Born with it?

So Today I guess my goal was to try and help people, I guess I will never loose that, my drive to help people. It must have been something I was born with, that inherint drive, instinctual. Sometimes I almost feel as if I am addicted to it. The feeling you get from doing it, and then the emptiness you feel from being unable to do it, wow that is horrible.

Anyways, Maybe life is starting to look up for me. I am trying to network. Since I have no friends that like what I do, I am searching out people that have the same likes as me. For me that is huge. I have never sought out anything before. I have always just accepted things the way they were and coped. Maybe I have just silently reached my breaking point and have had enough silence and suffering. I want and need more, and I am now searching it out. Boy do I hope I find it. I feel like this is something I HAVE to do. Yea, it may seem like something small and unimportant to some folks, but for me this is just about all that I have. I have no profession any longer, most of my friends have their busy lives, and I am left kinda, well, in the dust so to speak. So I have had to pick myself up, dust myself off, put some starch in my britches, and get on with gettin on, and bring my two kids with me.

           I can not stop thinking of ways to try and make money, along with this networking thing, I think it all ties together, or maybe, I hope it will. OH I don't know. Crap I didn't even know today was friday. Seems like the days are just running together now. So frustrating! But I guess that is what happens in the case of me. I am so very lucky tho, to be alive. I will never be mad about not remembering, it is just a side effect! LOL yep of one very bad run in with an anuerysm on the left side of my brain. Stupid Dr's wouldn't listen to me. Oh no, they get paid the big bucks, to be wrong! And here I set because of it. Stinkin Jerks! But on the bright side...I can pick my nose and wipe my boogers on my pants and no one cares now!!!! YAY!!!!  Always look for the silver lining!

ALright enough of the off colored, I am tired, I need sleep, humor. Thanks for the read!