I know the bad effects that bullies can have, I suffered thru one most of my school life until I snapped. Violence is NEVER the answer, but why is it, that adults only respond to that? When I attacked, No I didn't even get a detention, everyone seen it coming. Why in the heck did it get to that point? WOW, to look back, c'mon.
So I have two boys, and I preach to them to NEVER bully, or tolerate it. Well did I get what I asked for. I get a call one day at work. The principal says " Mom, Elijah and I have a problem. He beat a kid up." He was suspended for 3 days, out of school. Well when he got home, he was grounded for life, he was extremely angry, and attempted to explain, but his anger was thru the roof, and he could not form intelligable speech. You see Elijah is Bipolar, and takes medication for ragefull anger. Yes, it gets bad, very bad. I did get the "I did what you told me" tho. So I was interested to find out what his take on the matter was. However, his anger shut him down.
Elijah, other than the anger he cannot control, is a perfect kid in some aspects. You see, Elijah will not lie. LOL, even if he won't get caught, he will not lie to you. I love that about him, sometimes. I mean there are times, that his honesty is harsh, but it is pure honesty.
Well that night my father, who was meaner than a possum in a trap, called me. The man that would ground me for 2 months for not eating my sausage (gag), called me to tell me that he talked to his brother, who's granddaughter is in Elijahs class. He told me that if I grounded Elijah that he would write me out of the will LOLOLOL! I said excuse me? Elijah IS my child. He said "shut up, I know what happened" So he preceeded to tell me about it. He said that "It appears Elijah beat up the school bully, and if you don't go talk to that principal, I'm gonna go in there and make him see it the right kinda way!" OMGosh, follow violence with violence. No, I don't think so. But I did call the principal and make an appointment to see him.
Elijah and I were able to talk, finally. He said that this kid was picking on everyone at breakfast, pushing all of these other kids, pushed a kid over the table, taking other kids' food. "So mom, I did what you told me to do, I told him to knock it off. Then He pushed me. So I pushed him back. he flew into the table. " Elijah is as strong as a man, even tho he is a kid. "He came at me, I did a football tackle, he tried to punch me, so I hit him right in the face. He puched me in the arm because he missed my face, and I punched him again and his lip started bleeding, and so was his nose." I don't think he will bully us anymore. He made my friends cry, and THAT is NOT going to happen anymore." WOW..........my child took it into hos own hands to try and stop a bully. Oh yea time to talk to a principal. So I asked him "Elijah , did anyone ever tell the adults about this kid?" He said " Yes mom, everyone knew, they even seen him doing it. They would say, 'knock it off' but not much more."
So I go to meet with the principal, as this kid got 1 day OSS and my kid got 3. And wouldn't you know, right outside the door is a 0 tolerance bully sign. Now that was laughable. So after some professional education of the principal, I knew that I was getting No where. What is wrong with the educators these days? You know my son has needs, has difficulties, and you tout that you can provide all these wonderful programs, and that there will be no bullying. And here it is, right infront of you, FOR ALL TO SEE. Trust me all of the parents heard about it, and were left with mouths agape. Do you not understand that this type of thing makes us worry.
You see, there was a shooting with two young folks dying at the hands of another young person, that was bullied........it is so shameful. It does NOT need to happen. This cruelity, the meaness, it needs to stop at home, first. We need to ALWAYS build our children up. No I did not punish my Elijah for doing this, after hearing the whole story, as I continued to hear more from other kids that were there, and Elijah WAS defending himself and others! But after this I kept dropping little hints of education to Elijah, that maybe this kid bullies because his life needs to change, and Elijah, you could help him with that, You could be his friend and teach him the right ways to handle things, to NOT bully, to be nice. AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW, 4 months later they were friends. Elijah says, I told him, "I aint puttin up with your mouth, or your meanness, if your my friend, thats stoppin!" and he did mom!!!!! SO Proud of him, my Elijah!!!!
I just encourage any parent out there to put the fire in your kids, the fire for something better! to NOT tolerate things, to want better, to drive, always have that hunger, to never stop reaching, to never settle, to absolutely LOVE their lives. Then you will have done your job, you will have raised the strongest, stablest child, that will be able to do anything. And THAT is what I hope for my children. I hope I leave them with that. TO champion themselves, and others.
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