To be Needed, what is that?

Good morning to whomever reads my ramblings. Lets see, today I shall try and finish my Simple-Stories Generations Mini album, and my Jillibean-soup Monster Stew Mini Album. I need to buckle down. When I get up there, No more flight of ideas, or I have to go pee, I am hungry, blah blah blah. Stay there and do it! I think it is because I am bored to death! I feel like I have nothing left to give. I know it sounds depressing, but I am a drive based person and I analyze everything I do. I want to be respected, I need to feel needed, just as everyone does, but how? THAT is the question I have to find the answer to. You know I think that is the sole "thing" in life, the "needed" thing.  Some pople need it more than others, or in different ways, dramatic ways, unhealthy ways. I think mine is, ultimatley, to feel like I am alive. When I was a therapist, mine came thru everyday in the fact that I was a healer. My patients got better, I made a dramtic difference in their lives, an impact that was visable, palpable. To see what they were, then to see what they are now. I MADE a difference. That was a need that was on dispaly for the whole world to see. But now it is gone and I have to find another way. Wow, I think that is like trying to climb a mountain with no legs.

          So here I set pondering many things. I know I need to ponder getting the vaccum as I punted a mud clod the size of a grapefruit across the kitchen floor. I would love to read about you. Tell me. I need to hear something, remember I am used to it. That was my job for 20 years, and I so miss it.

Comments

[Grace]

I came aross your blog by following the link on the Cricut message board. I jumped around various posts you wrote and I picked up on your frustration. I think I've been where you are, and I don't really even know what your issues are! But if you want, you can write me and maybe we could compare notes. I'm not sure I could help you in some way, but I'd like to. Hey, there HAS to be a reason why we go through difficult times. Right? I think it's so that we can then help others, later on. Anyway, give me a buzz if you'd like.

[Jen Blausey]

Yes you have, unfortunately, uncovered the real me. I am extremely frustrated with the fact that my Dr. decided it would be a good idea to take me off of work for the rest of my life. I love what I do or should I say did. I was an occupational therapy assistant, and did that for 20 years. I know most people would relish that, but I can not stand staring at the same four walls, I guess I truly am sick, but I am a pig headed old gal and do not give up.......ever. LOLLOLLOLLOL But SOMETIMES I guess that is what these blogs are for, to try and let go. So as long as it may take me, and as painful as it is, I am trying to share with folks, to let people know that they are not alone, but also to let it out. This is definitely NOT fun, quite painful actually. But I am not trying to dwell on it, just chaps my ass sometimes. So I get on with it and scrap, create, get my mind on other things. BUT I so do appreciate your contact, and I am looking forward to continuing conversations with ya! I went from constant contact with multiple (12-15 patients a day) to no one =( that is difficult. I miss people. But I know God does have a plan for me, I hope =)